


Softly, As In A Morning Sunshine

by benoitblanc



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Divergence, Comfort fic, F/M, also posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 16:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21831118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benoitblanc/pseuds/benoitblanc
Summary: Reader loses her parents, her closest friend Ben takes it upon himself to make her feel better.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Kudos: 35





	Softly, As In A Morning Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Ben is my favorite character, I love him so much, I would die for him.

You were a legacy member of the First Order, destined to fight for the dark side, destined to be something you couldn’t have even understood the moment that you were born. But you were also destined to have parents who put their lives on the line for their work and would later pass their legacy on to you, which is what made you a higher ranking Lieutenant in the First Order. 

To tell the truth, you had always been conflicted about what you wanted. Your family’s legacy determined that you would be a member of the First Order. However, you didn’t know if you were willing to be a member of the First Order. You didn’t know if you believed in what you were working for, you didn’t know if you agreed with who they were or what they stood for. But you had met Kylo Ren when you were both young, and while his conflict was rather different it was somehow the same as well. 

You trained with him when he first arrived because Snoke believed that you would be able to bounce well off of each other while you were training. Over time the two of you had developed a very close friendship with him, however, this was something that Snoke used to his favor in more than one way. 

“Lieutenant Y/L/N, may we speak?” You heard from beside you and you turned to face General Hux, “Of course, what is it?” You questioned, the way he was looking at you made you fearful. Hux had never looked at you look like that, you had never seen Hux look at anyone like that. He had this sad look in his eyes like he was pitying you and you had no idea why. “Hux!” you heard the familiar yell of Kylo Ren approaching. “Commander.” He said, saluting Kylo as he approached, stopping directly in front of the two of you. “I think it would be best if I speak with her,” Kylo stated, and at this point, you were beyond confused, and beyond afraid that something had happened. “You’re most likely right about that, Ren.” Hux agreed, nodding to you and turning back to the deck.

“What’s going on, Ben?” You asked, and he knew that you wouldn’t address him by his first name while on duty unless you were genuinely afraid that something had happened. He pulled you into his quarters, locking the door and motioning for you to sit down while he filled a glass of water but set it on the nightstand rather than drinking it or handing it to you. “It’s your parents,” Kylo started, and your eyes met his eyes as though you were holding onto his gaze for dear life. “They were on a mission this morning, the ship they were on was destroyed… there were no survivors.” He said, his voice softer than you’d heard it recently. 

Your body was frozen for a moment before your eyes began to fill with tears. You let a sob out as you finally comprehended what he had told you. “I’m so sorry,” Kylo said and opened his arms for you. You leaned into Kylo as your body shook with sobs, your tears beginning to leak onto Kylo’s clothing but he didn’t seem to mind. “I didn’t say goodbye, Ben I didn’t say goodbye-” You said desperately, breathlessly, as you clung onto him as though he was the only person keeping you stable and grounded at that moment. 

“I know, I know. Y/N, I’m so sorry this happened.” Ben assured, his hands wrapped around your body while he held you tightly to him and rubbed circles on your back, one hand moving to hold onto your hair and run his fingers through it in an attempt to calm you down. As you clung to Ben, you had never felt so alone which was odd since you still had someone who you loved dearly. “You’re not alone, Y/N. You’ll never be alone.” You heard Ben say as moved his hand encompass your chin so he could tilt your face to look at his own. You saw honesty in his eyes, and you knew you would. Ben had never seen you like this, no one had. 

“You should take the day off, rest for a while.” He told you, softness and sincerity in his voice as he looked at you. Your eyes widened at his statement and shook your head. “N-no you need he-help run-” “I don’t, it’ll be okay,” He said and you shook your head. “I’d rather be working than being alone.” You admitted, which his eyes softened even more too. “I’ll stay with you, I won’t leave you alone.” He said, attempting to comfort you. 

“Why do you care so much, Ben?” You questioned as you started to regain your ability to speak properly, however, you continued to cry. “When… my parents sent me to Luke Skywalker I felt like they didn’t care about me. Your parents do care, and you cared about them. I know what it feels like to feel completely alone, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone. You’ll never be alone, not as long as I’m here.” Ben finished, his eyes not breaking contact with yours even while he shared something so personal that you didn’t think he had shared with you or anyone else before. Ben took one of his hands and removed the glove from it, wiping the tears from your face as you looked at him.

Your head found his chest as you leaned into him. “Try to get some rest, I’ll sort everything out and wake you when I’m done,” Ben said softly, lifting you and resting you back on the bed. You nodded, trying to offer him a faint smile. “Thank you, Ben.” You said, grabbing his hand before he left. “There’s nothing to thank me for, I’m taking care of someone that I care about.” He said, leaning down to press a light kiss to your forehead before walking to the door and turning the light off. Darkness took you as the drowsiness from crying had caused you to fall asleep rather quickly. 

When you woke, it had felt like you had been hours but you believed that couldn’t be possible since Ben said that he would be back shortly. You turned to your side only to see the figure of a sleeping Ben Solo laying beside you. “Ben?” You asked, shaking him slightly which woke him and caused him to turn to look at you. “How long have I been asleep?” You asked curiously since you felt like it had to be a while since he had fallen asleep beside you. “I… I didn’t wake you last night, you seemed like you could use the rest.” He answered, and you nodded but felt as though you had missed too much - as though you had missed important work around the base while you took a personal day.

He could sense you apprehension and quickly put it to an end. “You need some time off, you won’t be alone.” He said, watching as you sat up and following after you. “I will be alone, Ben. I’m a Lieutenant, maybe the First Order can do fine without me but not you, Commander Ren. They need you.” You mumbled, making sure to put emphasis on the ‘Commander’ so he realized why you were saying it, although you were sure that he did.

“They’ll be okay, but they won’t be okay if you never recover from this - we can both take time off.” He said, softly as you finally turned so your eyes met his. “What will you get out of taking time off of work to remind me not to cry?” You questioned, looking at Ben with a curious expression on your face - however, as someone who had been in pain many times before, Ben could see the pain clear in your eyes. “I just want to see you happy,” He commented. It sounded like nothing more than a sentence to people outside of this relationship - but you’d been saying those very words to Ben from the moment the two of you met - that’s how you knew he was serious.

It was a fast day, a day you didn’t want to be over, of you sitting with Ben, talking with him, enjoying time with him - it lasted a few days of the same thing. Staying in your room and talking, Ben only leaving to get food and return - until the day you beth decided you were ready to start walking around, getting your own food and living your own way - of course, it was different because it was one of the only times Ben had openly walked around without his mask on, his light saber hilted for ‘protection’, as he said, and thi was just a new addition to the routine. A few days later, Ben proposed an idea that you couldn’t deny - a party planet untainted by war, politics,slavery, savagery, and to top it all off - they had no idea who either of you, or even the First order, were. 

So you both went there, rented a room in a ‘hotel’ and decided to stay there. It was therapeutic, almost like rehab but it also felt like… something else. It was different that he was staying in your room, different that you’d been sharing a bed, because that felt like it was out of the need for him to not leave you alone. Now, as you sat on the deck of a beautiful pink, purple and blue planet with the warm breeze covering your body as it grew darker, you realized that you two were just living together casually. Like… something more than friends. 

You turned to face Ben, feeling him approach behind you as he moved to stand next to you. “Hey, Y/N.” He greeted, somewhat kindly, as he looked out upon the neon city - but the entire planet was just one big city. “Ben, I know I shouldn’t, but I want to thank you for taking so much time to care for me it… it means more to me than you could ever know.” You said, slightly rambling as you looked at him. It was different, it wasn’t just you that could feel it, he knew that it was different too. “Well, I just wanted to make sure you got better.” He said, but continued before you could speak, “I care about you, seeing you in pain would have been terrible.” Coming from Ben, hearing him say that he cared about you had a lot of impact. 

You took the moment to move closer to him, moving your hand to very slowly hold onto his. There was a moment, a moment that felt like it lasted a lifetime, where the both of you just stared at each other, unmoving, before you both slowly started to lean in. He was slow, deliberate, he wanted to make sure this was actually what you wanted. But you knew it was, and when you moved closer he knew it was what you wanted too. The kiss lasted for a few moments, but it felt like forever as your free hand slowly found it’s way to Ben’s hair, his finding your hip to hold onto. 

When you started to feel the need to breathe, you pulled back, Ben following suit as your foreheads pressed together, both panting from the drawn out show of affection. “Are you sure you want this?” He mumbled, so quietly you were sure you wouldn’t have heard him had you not been so close. “I’m sure, Ben, I love you and I want this.” You muttered, you could feel him tense, because you realized this probably was the first time in a very long time that he had heard someone tell him that they loved him. 

But he softened, completely, in a way you had never seen him before. There was this vulnerability that he was showing you, more so than you saw even when he was asleep. “I love you too,” and this time it was a whisper, softly as the morning sun, he had said something you were positive he had never said before - and in that moment, it felt like it was perfect. The setting, the man you were standing in front of, hands intertwined, two souls open with each other, it was blissful - and nothing could ever take that from either of you.

**Author's Note:**

> Ben Solo is the best boy, I want to give him a giant hug.


End file.
